we have the site!

which means we are also, totally, seriously, for REAL getting married on sept. 18th! before i locked the place down with the deposit, i was worried pretty much all the time that our day would get swiped out from under us and we'd have to change the date again. not that the first time we decided to change it was traumatic or anything, but i like to worry, and that was definitely a concern for me.

i also just discovered that i'm not getting comment emails for this blog! which means you nice commenters probably think i'm being an ass and ignoring you. i'm not! i swear! i'm so stoked to know anyone gives a shit about all this that i'm practically giddy. dude, that sounded sarcastic, but it's not. thanks for reading!

on to the details; we're getting married at the la conner flats, we have our date set, and now we have to work on the caterer and getting a dj. i think we also need to rent a little tent, because the granary only seats 50 comfortably. with the tent set up outside, and the pie buffet set up right outside the granary, under the awning, i think people will still mix and mingle while getting dinner. truth be told, most of the people coming to the wedding will be from dave's side of the family, as they are a big group, so i guess i'm just hoping my people mix in with them.

a few photos for you to enjoy,
a preliminary sketch of our save the date cards. that's a red solo cup, kids. these may not go out to everyone, by the way. i think i'll also draw a version that's a mason jar with lemonade in it for our elder guests.

and here i am having shots with my friend anne, who while technically not my maid of honor (since we're not doing that), is pretty much my main wedding babe. she knows a crazy amount of stuff, she's super extra amazing supportive, and i'm fairly sure that by now i'd be a nervous wreck without her. hooray for anne! and tequila!

okay, now that the site is booked, i can get to work on other things! you know, as soon as i drag myself away from the computer and all the other fun things i could be working on.

8 months from now i'll be a married lady

well, maybe not so much a "lady" as "married."

things i learned this week about weddings:

• if you order a dress, it could take 3 or more months to show up. meaning, i should really try on dresses.
• my friend anne is all about me trying them on this weekend, while i visit her in portland.
• if i want to buy a dress that doesn't involve the word "woman" i should think about starting that diet i've been talking about.

whew. so much to do! geez. we found the place, thank goodness, but we really need to put down a deposit so we can actually use it. we need to make our invitations, which also means finalizing our guest list and getting some addresses together. we need to figure out how to decorate our venue. paper plates or rentals? i think the biggest thing we need to do that will be the biggest pain in both our asses will be this: deciding on a caterer. as foodies, we're not sure anyone could do it better than us, our friends, and our family, but the thing is, if we want to actually enjoy the wedding, that means someone other than us need to be in charge of dinner. i've come to terms with this, but i know my dear man is still holding out, still trying to talk me into just doing all the food ourselves. luckily we are having this discussion now, and not three months from now. check back in three months, though, and make sure we've actually come to a decision.

i resolve to start with the planning, the decision making, and some of the purchasing, this very weekend. being with friends will help; i need someone else there to say "yay!" or "ew, gross." plus, i have a lot of married lady friends, who know about throwing big parties and where to get the best stuff. hooray for them!

polyester bride

first off, let me say that 99% of the time i love the site offbeat bride. there are great ideas, awesome photos, fun stories and a lot of helpful tips. lately, though, it's been driving me insane. let me explain.


my biggest beef with the Wedding Industrial Complex as it stands is that the idea seems to be that you have to a) spend more and more and more money, and b) everything has to be white and fluffy and have elements x, y and z or else it's going to suck. i can see most of that for what it is, sheer capitalism. offbeat bride (and other sites like it) are awesome because they don't demand that you have bridesmaids or a first dance or wedding favors. they spotlight couples who do handfasting, make bouquets out of antique buttons, as well as same-sex couples. they talk about elopements and courthouse weddings, weddings with children involved, and the variety of colors and settings are jaw-dropping. i love that.


however, i've noticed lately a trend where in all the stories where brides are talking about what made their wedding "offbeat" discuss two things; how they made everything and how their wedding was "totally, uniquely 'them.'" way to apply a totally new set of pressures on brides, kids. honestly, a lot of the interviews sound kind of smug and self-satisfied. oh-em-gee, of course your wedding was totally "you," YOU were the ones getting married. jeez. is there really any other kind of wedding to have? how do you have a wedding that's not you?


i want to make a lot of things for our wedding; like the invitations, the centerpieces for the tables, the decorations, but i don't want to make every single thing. after all, i do have a full time job and a family i would actually like to spend time with. plus, let's face it, i'm not great at everything. what's the point in making some elaborate centerpieces when they end up looking like an overzelous preschooler with some glitter and glue made them? i know my limits.

they also try to get you to make all your friends and family help with all the crafting, cooking and preparations. i think asking for some help is reasonable, but no one can convince me that my friends and family are going to be so excited to stay up all night long helping to assemble wedding favors. (and really, wedding favors? whose idea were they? i say NO to the wedding favor. your wedding favor can come in the form of dinner and red cup of keg beer.) people come to weddings to eat and either gawk at the new couple or get some dancing done. as long as you throw some food and drinks out there, and make it an otherwise awesome party, people will be happy and talk about how your wedding didn't suck. if they leave saying "dude! i had so much fun!" then yay! congratulations. as long as no one gets food poisoning or declares during the ceremony that they think we are a terrible, horrible, doomed couple, i'll be pleased.

i know this makes it sound like i'm dreading the wedding planning when in fact, i'm looking forward to doing some real planning, real soon. i'm hoping to shed some of the expectations i've been collecting the past few months, both on indie bride sites and from big wedding magazines (here's looking at you and your epic photo spreads, Modern Bride), pare things down to a reasonable amount of things to accomplish and start making my wedding truly, honestly, 100% me. (look, i snuck some snark in there.) at the end of the day, i want this wedding to be more more about me making a committment to my man and the kids, than it is about impressing anyone.

oh, and offbeat bride and brides? converse low tops are not offbeat in any way, shape or form anymore. wearing chucks under your gown is snooze-worthy. i'm sick of it! shoes do not make the girl. seriously. (where did that snark come from?! man, i am feeling kind of bitchy talking about wedding blogs and weddings.)

la conner flats

every now and then D refers to me as his "fiancé" it cracks me up. it also makes me blush. i don't know why, exactly; i know we're getting married, i'm excited about it, but hearing that word makes me feel silly and slightly retarded. at the same time, "boyfriend" just doesn't cut it anymore. i propose we come up with something else that is less french, easier to type, and less giggle-inducing to say out loud.

about two weeks ago we checked out the la conner flats as a possible wedding site. sure, i know the lady who works there (who is awesome), so i might be biased, but it was honestly a lovely place. we had a good walk around, saw some goats, checked out the garden and produce, and both agreed we'd go back nearer to october, to see what it looks like then. the nice thing about having all this time to prep is we can check out sites way in advance, and then actually see them in season. i did a little internet investigation as well, and found that the past five years have seen amazing weather in the skagit valley around october. mostly sunny and warm, with only one year seeing much rain.

i've also been reading offbeat bride a LOT. the posts over there are seriously inspiring. doing this wedding ourselves, making it what we want, and doing things a little differently seems a lot less daunting now that i've seen so many other couples do it. the site is really just a wealth of information, and it makes me feel so much better about how we want to do this. the past few weeks i've struggled with my sister making what i think are undue demands; feeling guilty that i'm not giving her what she wants, but feeling angry that she would put me in that position to start with. checking out offbeat bride stories one thing pops up over and over; brides saying they're glad they did it their way, and that it was hard to stand up for what they wanted sometimes, but in the end their weddings were about them and their partners and the families they were creating. that's all i want, a great big party and celebration of my commitment to D, the new family we're making, and to share it with the people i love most. essentially, that's what the day should be all about, and i just have to hope that eventually everyone else figures that out and stops getting hung up on the details.

late to this party

but come on, this is pretty much the greatest wedding party entrance EVER. it made me a little teary-eyed, to be honest. it was just so fun and joyful and everyone seemed to be having an awesome time. i bet their reception was stellar.

invitations

invitations are on my mind lately. i saw this one over at iDiy, and thought it was impossibly cute and smart and modern looking. i want to design my own, of course, partly because i hate things that are too frilly and traditional, and partly because i'm a glutton for punishment and enjoy making things harder for myself. the fact that i have over a year to work on this project makes me feel better about doing it, though. i might be slow, but i have a lot of time.

motifs and ideas so far include using faux bois as a theme (i even have an idea sketched out for my wedding band that uses it), making nesting invitations a la russian matryoshkas, or using the colors of great blue herons and feathers to tie it all together. i'm pretty sure that the dress i want is going to be a dark, pearly grey, and D wants to wear something with tails, so what i really want is something simple, modern and funny without being too cute. that's hardly demanding. ha ha.

truly selfish, self-absorbed blogging

i'm getting married next year and want a place to organize my wedding stuff, as well as talk to other brides & grooms-to-be. i'd use my main blog, but let's face it; unless you are actually involved in a wedding, wedding blogs are supremely boring. i still have a year and a half to go, and don't want to chase anyone off with endless posts about dress options and tirades about how wedding favors suck. if you're here, yay! if you're not, then okay, i understand. a few months ago i kind of wouldn't have thought i'd be doing this, but i went and fell for a man who believes in marriage. his enthusiasm for this wedding is totally contagious as well. before too long i'll be bridezilla, and most likely feeling pretty pleased about that.