pie!

D isn't keen on the idea of a wedding cake. personally, i had my cake all picked out (it was a giant coconut cake, square and covered in fat flakes), but the more we talk about pie, the more i like the idea. i've seen a few sites mention pie instead of cake, and i realize there are all sorts of pies out there, including galettes, tarts and even hand pies.

my main issue with pies is 1) they can't be prepared too far in advance and 2) i have yet to see a pie buffet that i thought was pretty. a cake makes a grand statement, a row of pies, not so much. or at least i haven't figured out a way to make it look cool, and not just like a line of pies. they can also be messy and to be perfectly frank, i do kind of want that coconut cake. i understand that not everyone likes coconut, but dammit, i do. i'm only getting married once, and i like coconut! shit, i'd be happy with cupcakes, as long as some were coconut.

the jury is still out on this, but do you have a good pie recipe? do you want to pass it on? i'm not a huge fan of apple, just so you know. :-) i'm more a berry or cherry kind of girl! what do you think would make a pie buffet look elegant and modern, and not like a ton of pies? have you been to a wedding that didn't have cake, and if so, what did you think?

image via craftster!

hyphenation station

my parents are sort-of ex-hippies. not hippie enough to have named me tiger lily or rainbow blossom, but hippie enough to give me two last names. i've always been hyphenated. one of the first things people ask when they find out is, "what will you do when you get married? hyphen again?" and laugh at the idea of someone having three last names and two hyphens. um, that's ridiculous. i have never once in my life considered that an option, which is why it always surprises me that people think it's so funny! hee hee hee, i'd have three last names! dude, it's hard enough trying to explain two. three?! you've got to be kidding me.

however, now that marriage is on the horizon i've been giving surnames a lot of thought. on one hand, having only one last name would be easier. it would also be kind of nice since having two last names requires twice the signature and twice the explanations. (my stock answer to the "why" question is that my parent's thought it was funny.) having the same last name as the other members of my little family would be awesome, and since i'm kind of not technically "one of them," it would be nice to at least wear their name. at the same time, keeping one of my last names, and becoming a different kind of hyphen, would also be nice. i'd like to keep my father's name because it was one everyone in my family had at one point in time, and in marrying D i won't have my own children to name. mine came with names, and their own mom. if i'd had a bio-kid, it would have gotten a family name, but since that's not going to happen, it feels important to me to keep a part of my name. having a hyphen, part my old name, part my new name, would also be a fairly accurate representation of my relationship to everyone else; i was in fact part of another family before becoming part of this one, and both are important to me. i feel like one of them, like a good partner to D and a good adult-ish role model to the kids, and like part of their family, but i did come to the party late and am a different version of them. part of me just want to assimilate, just take their name and call it a day, and worries that keeping part of my name will just always keep me separated or singled out. their bio-mom kept her name, and i guess i wonder how the kids will feel if i do the same. will they worry i'll bail too? or will they just think it's normal? am i over-thinking all of this? probably. i tend to do that quite a bit.

i've talked to D about it, and he's okay with any decision i make. i'm glad i have the time to think this through, draw up pro and con lists, and talk to other people about it. when you got married, what name did you take, if any? did you keep your own? are your kids hyphenated? how do you feel about multiple last names and the people that have them? being born with it is one thing, adopting it later in life is another. it's flattering to think of people mistaking me for the kid's mom, and i enjoy what mom-ing i do, but i don't ever want to discount or displace their mom. she might not be around, but she is their mom and i wouldn't have them without her. i want them to know that in that way she's important. she's an absent member of the family, but we couldn't have done this without her. keeping part of my name feels like leaving a door open for her, like making a different space for me. i'm not a typical or traditionl mom, and while i don't want to have this huge conversation with everyone everytime i sign my name or go to the doctor's office or fill out a form, i wouldn't mind just smiling and saying, "it's my married name." thoughts?

looking at more sites

i grew up out on whidbey island, so of course as a kid i always thought i'd get married there. then i went through my "let's get married in vegas by a miniature elvis" phase, then i decided i wanted to get married on the steps of the courthouse in coupeville, and then i was going to be a spinster. it's no wonder i'm back at square one. this weekend D and i went to look at the greenbank farm.

i should have taken some photos, but this one kind of shows you the possibilities. it's got a nice big barn for either the wedding or the reception (in our case, we'd like to do both at the same site), rows of windows, a lawn area you can use, and a cute little pond outside. it's not terribly priced, the kitchen is great, and they don't charge extra for bringing in your own caterer. the only downside to it is that in october it will be pretty dry, and where there used to be fields of loganberries are now just fields of yellow grass. not exactly picture perfect, and on an island that's so impossibly green, it stands out a bit. it holds the right amout of people though, and is a good location to either dress up or go a little more unconventional.

we also went by the freeland hall, where my cousin got married. freeland has an interesting history; it was one of the first socialist communes in the pacific northwest, and was known for it's ideal of (get this!) free land. huh. the past few years it's been remodeled a bit, and the nice thing about it is it's got a huge main room, decent kitchen facilities, and a great big lawn with a view of puget sound. however, the parking is crap. it was also fairly brown out there; which is to be expected with the weather the way it is right now, but it makes me think a fall wedding there wouldn't fare much better. i want the site to be green, which i know is probably a bit crazy, but still. if we're going to have it indoor and outdoor, i want the outdoor part to be bright and pretty.

anyone have any ideas or suggestions for a wedding in the skagit, whatcom or island counties? i'm open!

new idea for a place

today we were out on chuckanut, near whatcom county, visiting some friends. as an aside, D pointed out the blanchard chapel down the road, saying, "hey, we could get married there." after spending the afternoon lounging in the sun, playing bocce ball and getting sun burnt (that would be me!), we drove by to check it out on our way home.

it's seriously cute. it's exactly what you think of when you think "country chapel," and is delightfully old and historic. you know that appeals to me. the prices aren't awful, either, and they don't charge you to use your own caterer. for a fall wedding, depending on the weather we can do part of the service or reception outside. we'll have to check back at the end of summer and see if it looks as cute then as it does right now.

while i don't want a religious ceremony, at all, it looks like you can make this place fairly secular in a hurry. i like how old it is, and the idea that lots and lots of people have been married there. the location is gorgeous too, and i can totally imagine my friends and family there. we'll have to look into it some more, but i think this place is definitely in the running.

theme-work

i really like this idea i saw over on the craft zine blog; making a wedding "emblem," or brand, to use throughout the wedding. i was talking to D about this the other day, and had a hard time explaining to him why i thought it was a good idea, but this photo shows how awesome a small touch like this can be. if you make something up that you love, you can use it on invites, place setting, favors, etc. i wonder if i could draw something simple up, and then maybe use that drawing to make a few different sized rubber stamps? or import an image in photoshop and work with it there? i used to do some work with photoshop back in my days a copy girl at kinko's, but i'm not sure i'd remember enough to make it work.

i'm also feeling very on the fence about favors. on one hand, i like the idea of making something small and personal to thank our guests for coming and to give them something to remember the day by. on the other hand, i have yet to see a favor that didn't strike me as cheap or ridiculous. those monogrammed m&m's? really? i went to a wedding recently where they had jelly belly jellybeans tied up in squares of net. that would be a great favor at a kid's birthday, but i was not too impressed by it at a wedding. yes, i know that makes me a critical bitch, but i can't help it! i'm not handing out candy at a wedding, it's not halloween and my guests aren't trick or treating. i'm keeping my eyes out for favors that don't suck and that aren't crazy time-consuming or expensive. they must be out there, right?